I got back from SC a few hours ago. It was a good time. The Singleton family is a blessing to me.

I haven’t really been to church in years. I strongly dislike what American church is, and in the past few years I’ve kept my distance from God. Church doesn’t make me want to be closer to God. What makes me think about God, though, more than almost anything else, is stories from people I revere and respect.

Aaron, Matt’s brother-in-law, shared a story at the wedding rehearsal that touched me. He, his wife Betsy (Matt’s sister), Ginger (bride), and Dave (groom) have all been close friends for a few years now. Aaron talked about how their friendship was put in jeopardy. I don’t know the details, but I guess it had something to do with Ginger’s and Dave’s relationship. He said that was the darkest time in his life, and when everything was in question, God was there for them. That kind of thing makes me take notice. It reminds me of the things I liked about being friends with God back in the day.

I went up to Aaron after his toast and told him that I’ve gone through struggles with my best friends because of relationships.

I know that there’s reason to be close to God. I know that because of my friends and family. But my friends’ and family’s faith isn’t my faith, and until I figure it out on my own, there can be no full reconciliation. I know that God has helped me since I came to Nashville. I feel like I’m being led into the right direction. But the time isn’t now.

The wedding burnt me out. At the end of the reception I was spent. Being in a social situation with people I didn’t know plus the constant crappy praise music that I loathe constantly playing during clean up made me want to get away as soon as possible. Other than that, the trip was fun. I can appreciate praise music, but not shitty cookie-cutter crap. The part I liked the most about the trip is hanging out with everyone.

All in all, my week off was pretty good. I almost feel ready to go back to work tomorrow.