I’ve been getting over another cold thing for the past couple of days. It doesn’t seem as bad as the one I had a few weeks ago, so hopefully I’ll be over it in the next few days.
Today it occurred to me that I’m an adult. Not that I’d forgotten that fact; I guess I just haven’t consciously thought about it in a while. I was lying in bed, and I just happened to think about it.
I’m 26 years old. I’ve been supporting myself for three and a half years now. I can do whatever the hell I want to do (within reason). I could quit my job if I felt like it. I could go back to school. I could move away and start a new life somewhere. Not that I think doing any of those things is a good idea right now. But I could.
It’s sort of amazing what the comfort of a routine can do. Doing the expected. I went to college, graduated, and found a job. I like my job, so I keep doing it. It (almost) never occurs to me that something drastic will happen, and so I keep living my life. One day rolls into the next day, and time flies by. Things change incrementally most of the time.
But then again, I’m just saying that because most things are okay in my universe right now. In fact, they’ve only become that way very recently. My life has been filled with turmoil since I graduated. I’m merely experiencing a lull in the action. But how much turmoil could I really have gone through if I can just casually dismiss it now that things are okay for the moment? I don’t really have any well-formed conclusion to this train of thought; just thinking aloud.
Maybe with age comes the realization that life is hard, and that’s just the way it is. I feel like it’s impossible to live a certain amount of time and not come to that conclusion. If one accepts that truth, then the bumps in the road are expected, and it’s not that big of a deal anymore. The powers of fate and destiny aren’t somehow geared against one person specifically. Everyone is screwed.
We all have to go through the same crap. “The human condition.” Maybe that’s a cynical way to look at things. I also think it takes an extraordinary feat to not be cynical after a certain amount of time. But hey, we all do what we can with what we were given. It’s a cliché. The older I get, the more meaning I find in the stupid sayings I heard all the time as a kid.
In the last post I mentioned that I don’t feel the love from my group of friends all the time. That’s not really true at all, I decided. Everyone has their own way of showing love.
