There are times as a feeler when my emotions overpower my common sense.

Once when I was a teenager, my parents bought my siblings and I cell phones. By whatever chance, all my siblings got their own phone plan, but I had to share a plan with my mom. I got upset and emotional about it. I yelled at my parents. Why? I guess I felt left out. My brothers and sister got their own plans, why did I have to share? It hurt my feelings.

Logically, what’s the difference? It didn’t really even matter. But my emotions didn’t allow me to see reason, and my feelings of being left out overpowered me. Afterward I felt guilty for being selfish.

Today something happened that caused me to feel left out. Logically, I knew I shouldn’t feel that way. I knew it was stupid, but my feelings overpowered me. I had a shitty afternoon at work and my defenses were weak. I felt like I was being selfish and childish, but I didn’t have the mental strength to overcome it. When I got home I had a mini emotional breakdown.

Part of this was triggered by the fact that I had a bad afternoon, but it can’t be explained completely by that. I don’t feel like thinking about it anymore right now.