Last week was a bit rough for me in spots. The previous two weeks were filled with preparation for bachelor party and wedding stuff, so I was in constant contact with lots of people. Last week, everything started going back to normal, and I had some trouble. I got a little lonely. I thought and re-thought about the events of the wedding weekend, and the week seemed a little drab in comparison.

This morning was probably the worst of it, as I got to thinking about relationships. In the past year I’ve seen several of my close friends find love, and sometimes it bums me out. I sometimes think, “When is my turn?” I try to remember that I’ve been blessed by great friendships, yet I find myself feeling left out. In the past few weeks, though, I feel like God has been opening doors for me. I’ve been more confident in myself because I feel secure knowing that God has my back. I’ve had some great conversations with people that I don’t think would have previously been possible.

Even so, this reintroduction into religion has been a struggle. The key for me has been to be myself as much as I can. In high school, I tried to force away any doubt I had as forcefully as possible, and the result was depression. I’m trying my best to listen to myself and address any questions that come up. I try to take others’ opinions about God with grains of salt, to make up my own mind, and to be receptive to the Spirit. I think this is the healthy way to go about it. I want to hang on to who I am, but be willing to change.

In any event, I feel my life changing for the better more and more each day.