Last week I cashed in on some credit card reward points and got a gift certificate for Amazon for some new music. I try to get new-to-me music from artists I don’t currently have, since I play the crap out of my library and I get bored. So far I have:
Feed the Animals makes me happy. It’s fun trying to pick out all of the songs he mixes, although the vulgarity actually gets to me after a while. I picked O’Riordan’s album because I had a hankering for her voice. Instead of getting an album by The Cranberries, I noticed her solo album and went for that instead. It’s pretty good. I think the lyrics are a little weak in the first few songs, but I love her voice.
One Word Extinguisher is pretty good, too. I was looking at his page on Last.fm, and someone posted something about the album being #2 on the top 100 albums of this decade. I mean, it’s a good album, but not THAT good. And definitely not ahead of Kid A. The list also has an LCD Soundsystem album as number one, which I definitely don’t agree with. So I’m not sure how much stock to put in that list. 
This weekend I spent some time alone on purpose for a change. I realized for the past couple of weeks I had been frantically trying to spend time with people. I stopped and took a breath and told myself I don’t have to hang out with people all the time to feel good about myself. It helped. I felt good about just saying no to a couple of social gatherings. My anxiety level from last week went down.
I treated myself to the Prince of Persia pack from Steam and started playing the first game. It’s fun. It’s been a while since I’ve really played a video game that wasn’t online.
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Tuesday was my birthday. It was a pretty good one. I did a lot of my favorite things: took a half day from work, threw frisbee in the park, ate chinese with friends, watched anime, and played ultimate frisbee pickup. It was good.
My sister gave me some iTunes credit, and I spent it this morning. I got some Autechre, which was way overdue. Also, iTunes finally got Aphex Twin’s Selected Ambient Works, which I pretty much had to get, since I lost my CD long ago (if I ever had one, I can’t remember). To balance all the techno, I tried something new and got Sylvie Lewis’s latest album, Translations. It’s good so far. She’s a bit Ditty Bops-ish, which is of course how I found out about her. More jazzy, though.
I also discovered that iTunes started adding tax to album sales. That made me a bit sad. 
I finally caught up on a bit of queued work yesterday. It’s good to not have a bunch of things begging for my attention for a change.
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I was about to write a moody post about how hard it is to be me sometimes, but that’s kind of impossible right now. Thanks to The Ditty Bops.
I gave a presentation to most of the department today, and afterwards I was pretty much spent. I left work early and came home to veg out. After a couple of hours I went outside to have a smoke, and then I went back in for my laptop and came back outside. I decided to check out the Ditty Bops website to see if there was any news about their next album, and lo and behold, they came out with a new one last month!
I bought it on iTunes immediately, and now I’m listening to it. It’s just about impossible to be angsty when listening to them.
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Played ultimate frisbee pick-up with the Belmont folks tonight for the first time in a couple of months. It was pretty awesome. On one play though, my foot nailed the back of someone’s heel. A couple of my toes are still swollen. The guy I was guarding said he thought I almost broke the skin on his heel.
I feel out of place sometimes hanging out with those guys. They’re all great, but they’re in college. They’re at a place in life that I was in over two years ago, and that’s not my place anymore. Part of me really wants to try to fit in their group, but I know I could only fit in so much. It wouldn’t be the same.
And I don’t need it to be. College was awesome, but it’s over.
I did some things today that I’m kind of embarrassed about.
On another note, I got the Radiohead In Rainbows box set in the mail today! I had forgotten that it was coming soon. It’s pretty cool.
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During a toast at the rehearsal dinner for Ginger’s wedding, Ginger said that a relationship is like an organism on its own. It grows and changes. That is truth. My friendships have changed a good deal since I graduated. It’s been extremely taxing at times.
I think that my reliance on my friendships might be unhealthy.
Cowboy got a new job at Belmont. It pays great, but his hours are at night, which means when he starts working I won’t see him very much anymore. That means that I’ll be at home by myself a lot more often. I’ve been thinking about moving out on my own for a little while, and this sort of gives me a lot bigger reason. If I’m going to be by myself at home a lot anyway, I might as well start thinking about getting my own place.
Part of me is terrified to get my own place, but I think it might be good for me. Maybe it’s time for me to start leaning on my own self-esteem again a bit instead of relying on my friends so much. It’s been nearly 5 years since I started healing from depression. Maybe the next step in my personal growth can’t happen until I start trusting myself a bit more.
God worked a miracle in my dad. We found out about it last Friday. Pretty amazing. My sister wrote about it here.
I went to the percussions ensemble concert at Belmont last night. It was pretty good. The last song pretty much blew me away. There were drum set solos by Zoro and Derico Watson. Awesome.
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